Demographic Focus: Teenagers.

Teenagers/Young Adults: So often they get forgotten and misunderstood. They are yesterday's children and tomorrow's adults, yet as a demographic they are often left to fend for themselves.

How does the isolation of this phase set in? After all they are only a few years removed from being cute little children who were adored by their parents and by people in society in general. In a few more short years they will end up being the next wave of young adults expected to forge careers, settle down and perpetuate the family cycle again. This phase of their lives, (the teenage years) is not unlike when the tree has just broken ground as a vulnerable sapling. The warmth and security of being a seed safely nurtured by the soil (childhood) is over and the great towering tree (adulthood) is off in the distance. For now the sapling is buffeted around and is forced to try and begin to find its own path and way in life.

Can these human saplings get assisted any better by society? I believe they can and also that they deserve more from us, the adults in their lives. The key is that not only should their parents be responsible for them, but that all of our adult society in the local community should act as mentors and guides for them.

If we relied more on our local communities and introduced a local social structure etc. it would engender a sense of shared co-operation and of looking out for one another. If we also look to history we can also learn a lot from our more ancient cultures (e.g. Native Americans). In those societies education of our teenagers was more holistic. They didn't cram heads full of technical information, test this and proceed to use the results as the only yardstick to measure success in life.

Education was so much more than this. It was concerned with raising successful and rounded human beings and thus it empowered teenagers to tease out their latent and unique skill sets over a few years. The adults (all of them) took an active interest in the evolution of these fledgling adults and noted their weaknesses, strengths and passions. Over time a collective community profile would get built up as to the direction a particular teenager should take in life. The key was that this mentoring role was not exclusive to the parents of the teenager. Quite the opposite; they had many adult mentors watching out for them. The beauty of this system was that the teenagers rarely got lost and isolated from society and tended to learn early the value and unique contribution they could make to their locality and to other people. This lead to great personal empowerment in such a vulnerable phase of their lives. In essence it birthed well adjusted young adults.

Somewhere along the line things went askew. We know that the 20th century saw the evolution of large cities and suburbs and this evolution lead to the era of isolation. We built our houses and apartments and forged ahead in life with just the help of those within our four walls. We forgot our local community. We felt we didn't need them. If we needed anything we could just buy it.

One only has to look around today to see evidence of this modern phenomenon. Let's examine young families. The children of these families are absolutely adored (rightly so). Very often though the only other adults who interact with them are two equally adoring sets of grandparents. The children's lives and milestones are celebrated and feted by just these few people. However there is a great isolation to it. It never includes the local community. Let's progress a few more years into those teenage years. Very often the picture is very different. That teenager is often now sullen, isolated, apathetic and lost. The question is where did it go wrong?

The thing most parents hope for at this stage is that time will heal this situation. They hope that at some point they will wake up and that miraculously from the chaotic teenager a well rounded and adjusted young adult has arisen. In most cases that is true. However for a few this does not happen. Some end up on darker roads, ones that can lead to drink and drug abuse and most upsetting of all, the road of non return that is suicide. Is this the parents fault? ABSOLUTELY NOT. It is no one's fault but I believe it would happen far less (if ever) if we all in adult society took care of and watched out for our community teenagers. Leaving the rearing of children to two adults (or single parents) exclusively is not fair or rounded enough. Of course the parent(s) should be responsible for most of the care of their offspring, but they should also be able to avail of outside assistance. Similarly they should look out for the children of other parents too.

As the picture perfect cute child grows it is inevitable that there has to be a natural separation away from the parent(s). This helps to form the character of the young person. However if there is a natural separation away form the parent(s) it can mean that now the teenager feels they have no adult to confide in or to share problems with. Obviously this phenomenon is skewed more towards boys than girls as anecdotally boys tend to isolate themselves much more. However this is where the rest of us (adults in community) need to step in. We should be approachable and non judgmental towards these people who may need our assistance and support.

We also need to get away from making our teenagers compete for everything. All of their young lives involve being pitted against each other for the best education, results, university places and future careers. We need to introduce more holistic education models. Some will thrive in a competitive environment but again the very few vulnerable ones will not. Again this can be a trigger to a very sad demise.

Just because one teenager is academically gifted does not mean they should pursue a professional qualification in the college route. They could be multi-skilled and are far better off in an artistic and creative environment. Similarly just because one teenager is not gifted academically does not mean they should be destined to a manual trade. Perhaps they are particularly sensitive and are best suited to a career in the caring sector. If we had community wide observation, coaching and mentoring of our collective children/teenagers we could see these facts. The more we can reduce the opportunities for apathy, isolation, unhappiness, desperation and fear to set in with our teenagers the more likely they will birth into wonderful happy and balanced young adults.

It is no secret that once peoples' basic needs are met then the older they get the happier they become. Therefore it is an entirely natural condition that our teenagers who are just starting out in life can often experience some of the more harmful thoughts, emotions, fears, phobias etc. If they can truly know in their hearts that we are ALL there for them to help them out, then it allows them to know any challenge or difficulty can be overcome. We shouldn't let their poor parents shoulder everything on their own.

Look around you to these teenagers; yesterday's children, tomorrow's adults. Reach out today, they need you.