I don't want to be in community with him/her/them !

We all think this: How could we possibly imagine forming local community with those people from next door or even that crowd down the road. After all he/she/they have so many flaws, as does everyone really come to think of it!

Those days have to end. Our current society structures have engendered a sense of isolation. As a result we have become very discerning about whom we spend our time with. As we have grown individually we have watched many others who we feel do not meet our standards or indeed are not the kind of people we want to commune with.
But society is tearing itself apart as people are crying out for community. The "ice-olation" has become too much to bear. We are all beginning to feel strong stirrings and desires to form community. But how do we transcend our differences and make this leap? How do we find the strength, compassion, courage, patience, love, security and commitment to stand as strong individuals and yet be part of an even stronger, nurturing community?

TO me the ONLY answer is that we all have to finally face those demons, make an inventory of our shortcomings and overcome them in due course. We may feel superior and more enlightened than our neighbours, but chances are they have their own unflattering views of us. We all have our flaws. What is certain is that we cannot bring the more toxic of those into community. We need to be honest with ourselves, be ruthless and work through these issues. The past decade has exposed many skeletons in our world and has introduced a culture (thankfully) of people no longer being willing to live and wallow in their darker character traits. Society is advancing at an exponential pace. Our healing as individuals is happening, it is as if the older dysfunctional templates are not being supported anymore.

So the man who refuses to face his emotions and hides himself in his work, the woman who is exhausted to the point of desperation trying to be all things to all people, the elderly person draining their families for sympathy, the young adults refusing to grow up by hiding themselves in alcohol/drugs, and many more similar stories of peoples lives are all going to have to change. We cannot have strong community if we continue to lead unhealthy individual lives.

The brilliant news of course is that once we do form healthy local community we suddenly find that we will lose so much focus from the more narcissistic traits of our personality and our lives. This environment will promote a sense of collective responsibility, thereby acting as positive amplification of our better, truer, more loving selves.

Like the older ancient native cultures (e.g. Native Americans), we will find our joy in community. It is no coincidence that in those cultures depression was not something that was common at all. If people can believe in something bigger than themselves, namely the community, then it takes so much focus away from their individual problems. Those small nagging problems can never take root, fester and grow into bigger problems when they are getting shared and sorted collectively.

We shouldn't though beat ourselves up for the way society has evolved over the past 100 years. It is a fact that prior to that the community was central to peoples lives. During that time we had intimate understanding of our local environment but not of the wider world. In the 20th century a culture of exploration and seeing the world set in (e.g. massive immigration to the USA). Unfortunately this led to our isolation. While we saw the world, learned so much, especially about other cultures etc., it ultimately led to the point where people became very unhappy.

I now believe we have reached the turning point. We are meant to go back to our local communities, to find true purpose and joy in our lives. However the fantastic news is that we can do so with the vast knowledge we have gained from the wider world. We are coming full circle, back to where our ancestors were but with so much more knowledge and information. We can have all our needs met in the local community, but thanks to technology like the Internet, we can also have the world at our fingertips. No longer should we search wide and far for the holy grail, i.e. the one city, country, house, suburb etc.. that will be perfect. Where we are today is perfect. It can be our very own city of Gold.

And you know what, him/her/they down the street are probably lovely people......